Campus Awareness and Relationship Education
How to CARE
If you know someone who has been sexually assaulted or physically abused, it’s important to know how to steer him or her in the right direction to get help. If a victim was brave enough to tell you their situation, it is always important that you show that you CARE:
- Tell them it’s not their fault.
- Tell them they don’t deserve it.
- Let them know you believe them.
- Don’t spread gossip. It could put them in danger.
- Don’t try to make them do anything they don’t want to (it won’t work unless it’s their decision).
- Tell them that they’re not crazy, because they’re going to feel that way.
- Encourage them to build a wide support system. Go to a support group, talk to friends and family.
- Don’t blame them for the abuse or their decision to stay; leaving an abusive relationship is hard and can take a long time.
- See if they need medical attention. They may not realize how badly they’re hurt.
Remember: It is never the victim’s fault
- A victim’s clothing and behavior do not excuse a perpetrator’s assault against them.
- Remember it’s not what the victim “could have done” or “should have done,” but focus on what the perpetrator has done.
If the assault just happened and they decide they want to report it:
- Advise them not to take a shower.
- Go to the emergency room with the same clothes on or preserve clothes.
- Get a Rape Kit performed (SANE) at emergency room.
- Tell the police, community advisor, victim advocates or go to an assault center for women.
IMPORTANT: Never make promises of confidentiality, but let them know you will only tell people who can help them.
Resources for Help
Student Success Center, Suite 240
Sexual and Interpersonal Violence Prevention Coordinator
Reeve Union, 102L, (920)424-2024
Contact Campus Advocate
The Sexual & Interpersonal Violence Prevention Coordinator and Counseling Center are here to help you.
- honor your request for a male or female counselor;
- maintain your confidentiality to the limits of the law;
- support you, not judge you, and provide caring attention while you make difficult decisions;
- help you restore your sense of safety; and
- help you if you were assaulted some time ago and have not talked about it or feel like it is still having a strong impact on your life.
Contacting a Campus Advocate
Contact the Sexual & Interpersonal Violence Prevention Coordinator for confidential services. You don’t have to report.
- Daytime: (920) 424-2024
- Dating Violence After Hours : (920) 235-5998 (Christine Ann Center)
- Sexual Assault After Hours: (920) 722-8150 (Reach Counseling Services)
What You Should Do When Reporting
Please seek medical attention immediately from the Student Health Center or Aurora Medical Center.
Do not shower, douche or wash the clothing that you wore at the time assault. This can serve as evidence should you decide to press charges. (You DON’T have to make a decision now, but this is the only time you will be able to collect this evidence). Additionally, it may serve to calm your fears about medical concerns.
Write down everything that you remember happening, with as much detail as possible. This can help with your healing process and in any legal action you might decide to take.
Please call the University Counseling Center at (920) 424-2061. You may choose to ask a friend or counselor to accompany you at any stage of this process. We will respect and affirm your choices.