Counseling Center

F: Focus on what you can control

The alternative to uncontrollable worry is to focus on what actually is in your control. Unfortunately, we can’t reliably control our thoughts or feelings. But we do have control over what we do right here and now. This includes your routine (your sleep, your eating, your studying, and your media exposure). This also includes reaching out to loved ones, exercising, starting a gratitude journal, or following any of the other fantastic tips you have heard.

Keep your routine in a healthy way

Routines help to keep us feeling safe and well. It’s important to focus on a healthy sleep routine, eating well, studying, working, socializing and anything else in your routine. Moving away from routines create more stress.

Ways to Support Yourself

• Take breaks from watching, reading or listening to news stories, including social media.  Hearing about about stressful times can be upsetting.
• Take care of your body. Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate. Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals, exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep, and avoid alcohol and drugs.
• Make time to unwind. Try to do some other activities you enjoy.
• Connect with others. Talk with people you trust about your concerns and how you are feeling.
• Call your healthcare provider if stress gets in the way of your daily activities for several days in a row.

Source: CDC

Manage input of information

Spending too much time researching information on what is creating your stress often only creates more stress. It is important to remain informed, while also not overwhelming yourself with information.  Be intentional about setting time limits.

Try this exercise: Unplug and Connect

Why is Self Care So Important?

Practicing self-care every day can help your mind, body and soul.

Mind—to quiet your mind, be more productive and improve mental health

Body—to prevent disease and illness, maintain your weight, and have more energy

Soul—to feel happy and relaxed, connect with yourself, and nurture your soul

Be MINDFUL of what you are experiencing.

Pay attention to what you are feeling and know that there is a range of feelings one experiences during crisis and with everyday stressors. Being aware of what you are feeling and how you are reacting to stress so you can better use coping mechanisms to feel better.

Here are some mindfulness resources:

• Mindful.org: heathy mind, healthy life (blog)
• Mindfulness video: “All it takes is 10 mindful minutes | Andy Puddicombe”

Use your senses to ground yourself in the here and now, try these exercises:  Mindfulness of the Senses 

Putting one foot in front of the other is how we learned to walk, taking one moment at a time is important to remember. Focus on this moment, this hour, this day, rather than overwhelming yourself with ALL the details.  This can help you break down problems into more manageable pieces.  

O: Open Up

Opening up to let others in to know and share your struggle is a courageous act. It takes bravery to ask for professional help. Connecting with others in integral to our ability to flourish. During challenging times, we may feel like we don’t want to burden others, but there are resources available here to support you.

What can opening up look like?

• Reaching out to a friend and/or family member
• Finding a mentor on campus for support
• Being open to counseling
• Trying mindfulness exercises to increase awareness of emotions
• Finding ways to improve our flexibility will allow you to move more smoothly through challenges.
• Name specifically what you need from your support network (e.g., “today I need to talk about the ____ situation” versus “today I need a break from _____ situation”)

Resources for support: (campus and community)

• UW Oshkosh Counseling Center: (920) 424-2061
• Student Health Center: (920) 424-2424
• Dean of Students: (920) 424-3100
• University Police: (920) 424-1212
• Winnebago County Crisis: (920) 233-7707
• Fond Du Lac County Crisis: (920) 929-3535
• Outagamie County Crisis: (920) 832-4646

U: Understanding your values

Having a clear sense of purpose can make a big difference to your mental health. Values are things that matter to us most. Living out our values helps us experience deep and lasting flourishing because we don’t depend on fleeting emotions to determine our well-being.

Journal Prompts to help you discover your values in the midst of challenging times:

• What do I want to stand for in the face of challenging times?
• How do I want to treat others and myself during this challenging time?

Core Values Activity:

• Step 1 – List 5-7 of your Core Values. Possible examples listed below.
  Acceptance, Adventure, Caring, Commitment, Contribution, Courage, Creativity, Curiosity, Efficiency, Engagement Fairness Friendliness, Forgiveness Genuineness, Gratitude, Honesty, Integrity, Intimacy, Kindness, Loving, Respect, Responsibility, Self-care, Supportiveness, Trust
• Step 2 – Prioritize those 5-7 values in order of importance. (It’s important to do this because when values conflict, we often defer to the values of priority.)
• Step 3 – For each core value, list some behaviors that reflect that value. For example, integrity behaviors could be telling the truth, behaving ethically, and maintaining trust.
• Step 4 – Reflect on whether or not there is alignment between your core values and your actual behavior. Explore ways you could bridge the gap. One way of doing this may be to think about how you have seen a certain value emulated by someone you respect. How might you act in that way too.

Other Activities:

• What charities or organizations are you passionate about? Explore ways to be more involved with their mission. This can help you feel like you are living out your values and help in moments where you feel helpless.
• Take the VIA Character survey to explore your strengths. https://www.viacharacter.org/

Learn Something New or Something about Yourself

Learning has multiple benefits, including fostering psychological well-being.  Learning something new can help build more self-confidence and a sense of self-efficacy.  Taking some time to focus on learning something new, or learning more about yourself can be an effective and fun way to maintaining overall health.

Click here to begin Career Exploration

R: Recharge and Rejuvenate

Exercise, yoga, stretching, and all sorts of activities can be helpful in getting you connected with your body. When you get physical, it helps you to not get so caught up in your mind. Worries and fears tend to feed the mental and emotional storm, but getting connected with our body helps to interrupt worries. However, you don’t have to do anything dramatic. Try these:

• Slowly push your feet into the floor to feel the solid ground beneath you
• Intentionally straighten your spine and notice your head held high
• Subtly press your fingertips together being sensitive to the sensation
• Mindfully move and stretch your arms, legs, and neck
• Take 5 deep and slow mindful breaths

Stay Active

We know that staying physically active reduces stress levels and helps prevent many of the negative effects of stressful life events. Staying active doesn’t mean you have to run a marathon or be intimidated by the activity. It just means getting up and moving for at least 30 minutes every 3 to 5 days.

Wellness Workshop Activities:

• Fostering Healthy Sleep Habits 
• Get Moving

Find ways to RELAX

It is always important to take time for yourself to find ways to unwind and relax. During stressful times it becomes even more important. Here are a few tips for relaxing and some resources as well.

Tips:

• Take a long bath or shower
• Spend some time with your pet
• Find ways to laugh
• Get physically active..that could mean dancing to your favorite song, doing yoga moves at home, etc
• Do mindfulness activities
• Doing something creative…color, draw, etc
• Read a good book
• Play a game
• Do a craft
• Research online things that bring you joy.
• Journal

Wellness Workshop Activities

• Recalling Kindness Towards Others
• Three Good Things
• Your Inner George Bailey
• A Positive Future
• Slow and Steady Wins the Race

I: Identify your supports

Sometimes we feel lonely or distressed when going through challenging times. It is important to connect with others to mutually support each other. Connection is very important to our well-being.

Tips for Connecting:

• Call an old friend you haven’t talked to in awhile to reconnect
• Spend time with your significant others by talking, playing games, etc.
• Watch a favorite TV show with a friends, even virtually
• Join a virtual interest club, such as a book club
• Support others with encouragement. Give others validation when they share their struggles.
• Plan a random act of kindness. Who is someone that needs a note or a virtual gift?

Wellness Workshop Activities

• Gratitude Letter and Visit
• Unplug and Connect
• The Gratitude Report Card

S: Self Compassion

We are often our own worst critic, fill in the blanks: “you should be more….”. “you should be less…” Would we ever use these statements to someone we love? Usually, the answer is “No!” When we can develop our voice to be gentle, compassionate, and nurturing, like we would use when talking to a friend, it can change our world!

Practice Self Compassion

During stressful times, we can be unkind towards ourselves. It is important to practice self-compassion through challenging times in order to support ourselves in a kind way.

Tips for Self Compassion:

• Spend time taking care of yourself to show you are a priority
• Treat yourself as your own best friend
• Understand you are not alone in experiencing struggles
• Be kind to yourself, especially when you are struggling

20 minute Giving and Receiving compassion

10 minute Loving Kindness

Check out Dr. Kristin Neff’s website to work on being more self compassionate.

Wellness Workshop Activities

• Self Criticism Vs. Self Compassion
• A Letter of Self Compassion 
• Self Appreciation
• Self Compassion Break
• Recalling Forgiveness
• Cost Benefit Analysis 

H: Healthy Coping

There has never been a time in history without challenge and struggle, those that have come before us have survived and flourished. We can choose to cope with struggle in healthy and unhealthy ways. We know that looking for what is going well, looking for the good in people and events, and being curious about our environment helps us find creative and healthy ways to cope. When we listen to our own needs and honor them, we can feel better. When we take time for ourselves, to be creative, to play, to relax, we balance the struggles with what is right with us.

Focus on what is going well

• Start a gratitude journal- List three things that went well today (and every day).
• Share with a friend or family member what you appreciate about them or how they have been there for you.
• Think of a specific happy memory that you cherish. Spend time going over the details, feelings, sensations for 5 minutes. Visualizing with your eyes closed can help.
• Who do you know that could use some positive feedback today? Let them know of the things you see them doing well or those qualities that you appreciate.
• Allow yourself to feel gratitude for even the tiniest things, such as a beautiful tree outside or enjoying a song on the radio. It’s okay to find it difficult to feel grateful in difficult times, and you don’t need to pressure yourself to always feel gratitude while you are struggling.

Living in Hope-

• Believe in the possibility of good to come
• Create small daily and weekly goals believing you can accomplish them
• Think of a time when you couldn’t imagine things getting better, but they did. Remember that hope exists in the unknowns of possibilities that can’t always be seen. Leave room for hope!
• Assume that you are capable of attaining your goals
• Times can be scary with worries for yourself and/or others. Think of what you have the power to control and do and let go of the worry that only holds you back.
• Look at history for other challenging times people have faced and how they have overcome these. Solutions can be hard to see but perseverance will help you to find them. Patience and hope help with perseverance.

Identify unhealthy coping mechanisms

Sometimes when things are stressful, we do things that aren’t helpful in helping us to feel better. Try to be more aware of these things and do things that are more positive to your well-being.

Here are a few unhealthy ways of coping you can try to minimize:

• Withdrawing from others
• Oversleeping or eating
• Use of substances
• Watching too much TV or playing video games to “check out”
• Becoming irritable and taking stress out on others
• Not reaching out for support when needed